We the dissociated has been conditioned - from an early age of abuse and trauma - to expect the unexpected.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhefPzdegNA2vQemwBtFQ1E2cAzoWQN1rbe8dqeuBKmJheqphne4Z6UoJTz8i2ER3nEzdi3tuBxqJKONjb6tKQiPHSEsccijBcdeB_aHfx0yBULxFb6TJnK4svlp-QQXILHzdfunO92G5U/s1600/5330narsissm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhefPzdegNA2vQemwBtFQ1E2cAzoWQN1rbe8dqeuBKmJheqphne4Z6UoJTz8i2ER3nEzdi3tuBxqJKONjb6tKQiPHSEsccijBcdeB_aHfx0yBULxFb6TJnK4svlp-QQXILHzdfunO92G5U/s320/5330narsissm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">We the dissociated has been conditioned - from an early age of abuse and trauma - to expect the unexpected. It is a world in motion where (sometimes sadistically) capricious caretakers and peers often engaged in arbitrary behaviour. We were trained to deny our true self and nurture a false one.<br /><br />Having invented ourself, the dissociated sees no problem in re-inventing that which was designed in the first place. We the dissociated are our own creator.<br /><br />Hence our grandiosity.<br /><br />Moreover, We the dissociated have become a shadow self for all seasons, forever adaptable, constantly imitating and emulating, a human sponge, a perfect mirror, a non-entity that is, at the same time, all entities combined.<br /><br />The dissociate is best described by the phrase: "Being and Nothingness". Into this reflective vacuum, this sucking black hole, the dissociate attracts the sources of his dissociated supply.<br /><br />To an observer, the dissociate appears to be fractured or discontinuous.<br /><br />Pathological dissociates has been compared to the Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly the Multiple Personality Disorder). By definition, the dissociate has at least two selves. Our personality is very primitive and disorganised. Living with dissociation is a nauseating experience not only because of what is - but because of what is NOT. We have become not a fully formed human - but a dizzyingly kaleidoscopic gallery of mercurial images, which melt into each other seamlessly. It is incredibly disorienting.<br /><br />It is also exceedingly problematic. Promises made by the dissociated are easily disowned .  plans are ephemeral. emotional ties - a simulacrum. Most dissociates have one island of stability in their life (spouse, family, their career, a hobby, their religion, country, or idol) - pounded by the turbulent currents of a disheveled existence.<br /><br />Thus, to emotionally invest in dissociation is a purposeless, futile and meaningless activity. To the dissociate, every day is a new beginning, a hunt, a new cycle of idealisation or devaluation, a newly invented shadow self.<br /><br />There is no accumulation of credits or goodwill because the dissociate has no past and no future. occupying an eternal and timeless present. A fossil caught in the frozen lava of a volcanic childhood.<br /><br />The dissociate does not keep agreements, does not adhere to laws, regards consistency and predictability as demeaning traits. The dissociate hates meat one day - and devours it passionately the next.</span>

We the dissociated has been conditioned - from an early age of abuse and trauma - to expect the unexpected.

We the dissociated has been conditioned - from an early age of abuse and trauma - to expect the unexpected. It is a world in motion where (sometimes sadistically) capricious caretakers and peers ofte…

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Ten Stages is simply the direct recognition and understanding of how things actually are.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqNJ6GM7BMJUTGG8MgrKEkmcezTdZjuu6mCGPI_0NarZ5ALwV-87Ki42LDUhkds5CfaGklDoEi5ehIOB0V3bTUcm3eBcNaUGv-Mp-Ci8CXpmA_T-0lP_WFXtv9Gg6PY0DMNxJME78SoS8/s1600/5330narsissm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqNJ6GM7BMJUTGG8MgrKEkmcezTdZjuu6mCGPI_0NarZ5ALwV-87Ki42LDUhkds5CfaGklDoEi5ehIOB0V3bTUcm3eBcNaUGv-Mp-Ci8CXpmA_T-0lP_WFXtv9Gg6PY0DMNxJME78SoS8/s320/5330narsissm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Ten Stages is simply the direct recognition and understanding of how things actually are. It is the realisation of the true nature of our reality.<br /><br />There are many concepts that point toward this understanding: terms such as "awakening", "non-duality", "prior to understanding", "consciousness-without-an-object", "pure being", and so forth. All these concepts are sound. But they are pointers, not the realisation itself. The realisation itself is a knowing of a different order beyond conceptual categorisation. It is radical, revolutionary, and always now. It turns everything upside down, and is a full stop in the groping of the confused thought of me.<br /><br />Ten Stages leads us to the understanding of what consciousness is, and of the essential non-existence of the shadow self, consumed by fears, attachments, and cravings, who thinks that they can control things and believes they have free will; even the person who thinks they want (or need) to become enlightened.We move ourselves towards our deep simple recognition of our child within.</span>

Ten Stages is simply the direct recognition and understanding of how things actually are.

Ten Stages is simply the direct recognition and understanding of how things actually are. It is the realisation of the true nature of our reality.There are many concepts that point toward this unders…

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To a Dissociate who has suffered deep abuse "self absorption" is absorption in a falsely created shadow self.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3haHAUKCPJB6jT1V0dxxc-U0R1iGeJCmWc82c27bRMLg83B63xyALH0oXr-QP2c9eJ1_LWXgz9V2Cy7GAP-6ej5ABbgUCljvzAd9CDMfIhBC4mHLwabgbhAn__9BOxNK_ze0L-0qJJ0c/s1600/chopblock2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3haHAUKCPJB6jT1V0dxxc-U0R1iGeJCmWc82c27bRMLg83B63xyALH0oXr-QP2c9eJ1_LWXgz9V2Cy7GAP-6ej5ABbgUCljvzAd9CDMfIhBC4mHLwabgbhAn__9BOxNK_ze0L-0qJJ0c/s320/chopblock2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">To a Dissociate who has suffered deep abuse "self absorption" is absorption in a falsely created shadow self. A true external entity. A false image. This gives a hint of explanation for the strangest thing of all about malignant Dissociates: they are as out of touch with themselves as they are with the rest of the world!<br /><br />We all can get out of touch with ourselves and lose track of how we actually feel. This comes from being too intensely focused too much of the time. Especially with sedentary work. In this state, the brain learns to filter out sensation. One of the benefits of Eastern practices like Yoga and Tai Chi is that it helps us get back in touch with ourselves.<br /><br />What goes on in a dissociate is essentially the same thing but to a bizarre degree.<br /><br />How bizarre? Well, I'm afraid you'd have to see it to believe it.<br /><br />How do dissociates get so far out of touch with themselves? We suspect they do it simply by keeping focused on something all the time. They fill the gaps between daily work and appearances before mirrors with distractions. One thing I've noticed about narcissists is that they must always be busy, busy, busy. And when there's nothing to do, they bury their nose in a book or newspaper, or they glue themselves to a TV -- anything to avoid a moment of quiet reflection. Blaring radios, sleep, TV, aimless busywork, useless reading — anything to keep burying that repressed corpus delicti (their true self) so it doesn't surface to consciousness in a moment of self awareness.</span>

To a Dissociate who has suffered deep abuse "self absorption" is absorption in a falsely created shadow self.

To a Dissociate who has suffered deep abuse "self absorption" is absorption in a falsely created shadow self. A true external entity. A false image. This gives a hint of explanation for the strangest…

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Parental Roots: a new method to understand parenthood dissociation

<br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LO9UAJPYnKHxGJcNwNf8c7Zs9xZu7vGNkqLpsn6EzYqN2_yVAvMPyAI5w1Y47oftyto26_De9ZpYFolh0lWkKB1giizO7I8SsWhLOCa91_oclf2QoTt0mWJtDpBUEd6G09YIrnPnVXY/s1600/live+child+within.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LO9UAJPYnKHxGJcNwNf8c7Zs9xZu7vGNkqLpsn6EzYqN2_yVAvMPyAI5w1Y47oftyto26_De9ZpYFolh0lWkKB1giizO7I8SsWhLOCa91_oclf2QoTt0mWJtDpBUEd6G09YIrnPnVXY/s320/live+child+within.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <h4 style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Parental Roots: a new method to understand parenthood dissociation</span></h4> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Root 1 We understand our lack of control over our ability to protect our children from pain and become willing to surrender to our understanding our flight from reality into our dissociations and not our unstructured insane controls.</span><br /> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 2 We find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through understanding and an acceptance of the fact that we are never really sane as long as we are dissociated with frozen emotions.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 3 We reach out for help and acknowledge that we have the tools to recover.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 4 understanding the historical implications of ourself as a parent.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 5 Learn to share our parenting dissociation issues with others without self-recrimination.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 6 Become ready to change by giving up the demand to conform to historical broken dissociation ideals</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 7 Make conscious changes in our parenting by identifying and changing specific dissociation strategies for healthy parenting.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 8 Take responsibility for the effect our parenting has had on our children and learn the ten stages.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 9 Make an understanding to our children through healthy parenting without over-compensating for our dissociation behaviour. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 10 understand being honest with ourself and our children and create acceptance in our family for dissociation.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 11 Learn to accept our delimits in life and find our true path while allowing our children theirs.</span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />Root 12 Reach out to other parents in the spirit of understanding and community.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The world of parents and caregivers struggling with dissociations that lead to addiction — their own, their parents and caregivers, their spouses — and gives us clear guidelines about how to speak to, and work with, these families. It will also help us to address the personal issues that arise for us as we begin this process of family recovery.<br /><br /><br /> First it is written to help children of addicts of dissociation, their caregivers and the addicts themselves on a personal level. The term caregiver has many meanings. Sometimes the caregiver is a biological parent, sometimes it is a member of the extended family, or a foster parent, and sometimes a professional child care worker, or social worker.<br /><br />What caregivers have in common is that they all have accepted the responsibility to nurture and safeguard the well being of a child. But when it comes to addiction of dissociation, in most cases, caregivers have little to no idea of the needs and issues facing children that have been impacted by dissociation and even less how to help parents/caregivers who are dissociated. All too often caregivers are themselves, untreated adult children of dissociated families, or families with abuse or neglect issues. Their personal struggle mirrors the concern and struggle now found in the sick professional community. New pathways are needed in the treatment of dissociation, and new understanding on both a professional and personal level are required, for there to be success in the treatment of parents/caregivers and the children of dissociation found within the Child Welfare, Juvenile Justice and Substance Abuse Fields.<br /><br />Parental Roots is written to provide greater professional understanding for those who work with addicted parents/caregivers and their children — child welfare, juvenile justice, and alcohol and drug abuse professionals, who now need to closely collaborate, in some cases, for the first time with the parental roots system of recovery. Doing this will require a more thorough understanding of the terms utilised dissociation, the ability to identify and access services across systems, and the development of new services for treatment and training. The insider knowledge on families Who Get High has exercised us to use with our course members as we begin the process of motivating and engaging high-risk families/caregivers who are also challenged by the addiction of parental dissociation to unobtainable anarchic solutions.</span></div>

Parental Roots: a new method to understand parenthood dissociation

Parental Roots: a new method to understand parenthood dissociation Root 1 We understand our lack of control over our ability to protect our children from pain and become willing to surrender to our u…

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At the core of all addictions is abuse.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxRpO8sa72FcC_fRWLtJq-W-L3S2uTxstNmxc_RBXQjU0VKOeQO_W4lsojq1t0PBNlSiOt_opeK5fCqYSbTJ2sC7cawjVcxpy-ykWV2mRtGM5E7XBvjpK-FS7PKICayjkj_sVQJ-8mVqc/s1600/chopblock2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxRpO8sa72FcC_fRWLtJq-W-L3S2uTxstNmxc_RBXQjU0VKOeQO_W4lsojq1t0PBNlSiOt_opeK5fCqYSbTJ2sC7cawjVcxpy-ykWV2mRtGM5E7XBvjpK-FS7PKICayjkj_sVQJ-8mVqc/s320/chopblock2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">At the core of all addictions is abuse. By abuse we mean emotional loss in childhood, and in the case of severe addicts, you can see — and large-scale population studies show — that there is significant childhood abuse such as family violence, addiction in the family, sexual and emotional abuse, physical abuse, a parent being mentally ill or in jail. These adverse childhood experiences have been shown to exponentially increase the risk of addiction later on in life. That’s one set of difficult experiences.<br /><br /><br />There’s another set of difficult experiences that’s a bit harder to distinguish, and that’s not when bad things happen but when good things don’t happen. A child has certain fundamental needs for emotional development and also for brain development. If you look at the human brain, it develops under the impact of the environment. The potentials are genetically set, but which genes are turned on and off depends very much on the environment. So for example, in the case of addiction, the brain’s reward circuitry is impaired… the person’s circuits, which have to do with the chemical dopamine and which give you a sense of reward incentive and motivation, are not well-developed. Those circuits need the support of the environment to help them in their development, and the essential quality of the environment is a mutually responsive relationship with the parent or caregiver.<br /><br /><br />So in families where the parents are overly stressed or aren’t able to be emotionally present with the children, in the case of sensitive children, that can interfere with their brain development. The children will look for reward elsewhere.The Child will dissociate When we’re looking at psychological pain at the heart of all addictions and addictive behaviours, they have one intended purpose: to soothe pain or to escape from pain or stress. So whether we’re looking at the psychological side of addiction, which is needing to escape from pain or stress, or the brain physiology side, which is the underdeveloped reward circuits in the brain, we’re looking at the impact of our childhood.</span>

At the core of all addictions is abuse.

At the core of all addictions is abuse. By abuse we mean emotional loss in childhood, and in the case of severe addicts, you can see — and large-scale population studies show — that there is signific…

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